I woke up this morning contested, with swollen eyes, and a feeling of emptiness. Yesterday, I turn over my barely 14 month old daughter to her father for 2 months. This is certainly not by my choice. This decision was made by a judge. I have asked for visitation from BD (Baby Daddy) which has been rejected. I think it is sad that my Angel will have to go that long without seeing her Mother. I could understand if she was older but she’s barely a year old! Please don’t get me wrong I am not against Angel spending time with her dad, and I am thankful that he desires a relationship with her. However, two months is a long time for a baby to be away from the only parent she has really known since birth.
Usually my blogs are about Angel, our relationship, milestones she’s passing, products I have found fun or useful, and my friends and family that see me through my situation. In the days ahead I am going to write about myself, what I am doing to help the time fly by, and how I deal with this entire ordeal.
So here’s the Unexpecting Mommy’s list of things to do while her sweet Angel is away.
- Next week I am getting something done I should have had done a long time ago. No Sophia, I am not changing my hairstyle (she says I’ve had the same hair style since high school). I am getting Lasik eye surgery! I have been wearing glasses since I was 11. My eyes are so bad that I call my glasses future goggles. If you want to know what you will be doing tomorrow, look through my glasses.
- I will be doing some traveling. Not to Croatia or Prague like I had hoped, but a few fun places.
- Have my back yard landscaped.
- Get back into shape. I am joining a boot camp next week in an effort to get my pre-baby body back. There is a tube of goo that surrounds my belly at this point in time that could definitely benefit from some ab crunches. Also, it will be nice to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded.
- Get back into Yoga. If you have never done a yoga class, you are missing out. I practiced yoga for about 12 years before I had Angel and LOVE it! I haven’t been able to do it very often because as most of you parents out there know who has the time?!
- Take some tennis lessons. Tennis is another sport that I loved but was never really good at. I played on league a few years ago and I think the only reason the girls let me stay on the team was because they needed an extra player. One of my friends described my tennis skills like bee swatting.
- Go to church. I attend church, but would like to shop around some more to find a church home. I really want to get more involved in church activities.
- Put Angel’s pictures in frames, rearrange her room, redecorate my room, see friends I haven’t seen in a while, bother the friends that I see often, spend time with my loved ones, and rearrange my sock drawer.
The next days, weeks, months will be a hard time for me. I know I will get through it. I am strong and have so many people that lift me up everyday. I just pray through this time Angel never thinks I have abandoned her or have forgotten about her. She is in my thoughts every second and will be until the day I die. Near or far she is always in my heart!