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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Squeaker Shoes

The creator of the squeaker shoes must not have children of their own.  These precious little shoes could be compared to a medieval torture device for parents.  The first pair you buy seem like a good idea.  You think, these polka dot Mary Jane shoes that make a high pitch squeak sound with every step your child takes, will be adorable on their feet.  Little do you know that this sound quickly becomes annoying, very annoying.  Yes, I am aware that you can remove the squeaker from the shoe, but in the mind of the child a squeaker shoe that doesn’t squeak is pointless.  When your child has these shoes on they want to walk, run, jump, and even attempt cartwheels to make the squeak squuueeeeeeeeekkkk. 
I was in Target the other day and Angel had a pair of these shoes on.  My plan was to run in get a few things and get out.  We all know that is never how things happen.  Angel did not want to be in the basket, she wanted “Down”.  To prevent a total meltdown I allowed her to get down and walk around.  Squeak, Squeak, Squeak, Squeak she went.  A few people commented, “Oh how cute” or something to that effect.  The attention that they gave her made her smile and stomp all the more.  Those comments were on the first isle.  By isle 5 these same people were starting to give me looks.  I told one lady that had commented on the cuteness of these shoes, “Their not so cute anymore are they?”  But Angel loves them, and if an annoying sound brings a smile that big to her face, I’ll just buy some ear plugs for myself and all those around me.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Moving On

It has been almost 2 years since I re-entered the single world. It was not good timing considering I was 4 months pregnant (not something guys look for when dating). Dorian (that’s what I’ll call Angel’s father) and I tried to work on being together after she was born, but that was short lived. Since then I have gone on a few dates but have not allowed myself to get involved with anyone. My main focus has been Angel and spending my time with her, but I want a family and that requires a husband. Last time I checked they don’t come knocking on your door.

I recently came to terms with the fact that I still had feelings for Dorian, and that I needed to address them so that I could move on with my life. I needed to heal. Going through a break up is hard, but going through a break up with someone you share a child with is even harder. In some of my previous blog post I have written about the struggles I have gone through, emotionally, with the absence of Angel’s father. The hardest part for me was going through my pregnancy, birth, and Angel’s first year alone. Somewhere deep inside my soul I thought, wished, and even prayed that Dorian and I would get back together and that we would be a story book family. I clung onto this fantasy until recently when I expressed my feelings to him and well let’s just say reality sat in, and I knew that would never happen. Hopefully we will eventually be able to be friendly with each other and do things together to give Angel a sense of comfort.

I am now ready to move on. Like my good friend Santiago used to say address, process, move on. I have done the first two and now it is time for the latter. I hope one day I find love again. I pray someone loves me as much as the person I loved the most. I just hope it doesn’t take too long for me to find them!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Cheerio's In My Bed

Thursday after a very long day of driving (approximately 250 miles) I was extremely tired and all I wanted was to get home, take a bath, have a glass of wine, and go to bed.  When you are a single parent of an 18 month old (Yes, she is 18 months old!!!!!) the odds of that happening is zero.  Instead, I picked up Angel from my Mom’s house and as soon as we got home I changed my clothes and we headed outside like we do everyday.  Angel has a play set on the front yard that has a swing and slides.  The front yard is also littered with a little tykes car, a red tricycle, balls, and other play paraphernalia.  The neighborhood kids now love to gather in my yard and play with all this stuff and Angel.  After playing for a while Angel decided that she wanted to go for a walk around the cul de sac (the child defiantly has a mind of her own.  She enjoys going on walks, picking up sticks and yelling, “I got it!”)  I digress, so off she went and as usual I followed right beside her.  Before we got past our neighbors house I looked and I had 6 children following behind me. One was on a bike, another on the tricycle, the rest were just marching with us.  It was like our own little parade.  A boy named Daniel held Angel’s hand as we walked and made conversation with me.  I realized that I was carrying on with a 6 year old.  When we got back side walk chalk was found and now I have smiley face doodles along with the names of various children on my sidewalk.  After an intense afternoon of playing, dinner time, bath time, and I got all of my evening work completed it was finally time for me to do what I had wanted to do since I got home….Sleep!  I crawled in my bed and as I did I heard a crunch and felt crumbs under my shoulder. Cheerio’s in my bed.  I sighed for a minute thinking how did I get here?  This was not how I planned my life.  I am sure many people have had these moments in their life.  As I lay there thinking about what I had planned and how it turned out, I was thankful that I am not the one in control of my destiny.  I ate the Cheerio’s and fell asleep thanking God for knowing what is best for me.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Top 10 Things NOT To Do After A Break Up!

Most all of us at some point in our lives have gone through a breakup.  After going through the worse one of my life I have come up with the Top 10 Things NOT to do after a break up.  I list these things based on personal experience (some of them a friend told me about ;).

10. Don’t subject yourself to country music.  This includes but is not limited to Kelly Pickler’s Didn’t You Know How Much I Loved You, any songs by Keith Urban, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw or that Dolly Parton song (the one Whitney Houston remade for The BodyGuard).  Just stay away from it all!  There really isn’t too many feel good country songs that will aid you during your breakup time they will just make you miserable.

9. When you are in public and news of a wedding or relationship is going around don’t scoff under your breath and say, “Yeah that will last!” because you are bitter.   Especially when it is 2 Brits talking and they are discussing the royal wedding.  They take that kind of stuff seriously. 

8. On long rainy weekends when you are all by yourself don’t buy any ice cream, cookies, candy, chocolate, cake cupcakes, or a can of whipped cream, especially if there is a Lifetime movie marathon on.  You will eat it, ALL.  This is not good for your post breakup figure, and your eyes will be swollen from watching Terms of Endearment.

7. Do Not listen to Delilah (the radio talk show host of adult contemporary soft rock).  Listening to all these happy couples that call in, who are blissfully in love will only provoke you to call in and tell her producer that love is a crock and all these people are delusional.  Instead of listening to Lite-mix try heavy metal (but stay away from the great 80’s ballads except for Whitesnake’s, Here I Go Again On My Own).

6. Do not sit in your car bellowing out the final stanza of Adele’s Don’t You Remember when the parking lot you are sitting in is completely full and your windows are cracked. 

5. Don’t pursue a person just because they look like your ex.  This does not help you get over your ex.  If you do and you go out with them don’t tell them how much they remind you of your ex.  Apparently they don’t find this flattering.

4. I have mentioned this before, Do Not go out, have one to many glasses of wine and send drunk text messages!  Your judgment is clearly NOT clear when you have booze brains.  If you go out and will be partaking in the consumption of alcoholic beverages give your phone to the person you are with and tell them under no circumstances should they let you have your phone for fear that you might text your ex.  This goes over really well especially on a first date!

3. Do Not do drive bys!  This includes driving by your ex’s house, their new love interest house, their parent’s house, places you think they might be, and using Google earth to look and see who is at their house.  (These images are not in real time). 

2. Do not torture yourself by watching sappy movies and romantic comedy’s where in a 2 hour time span the beautiful, successful, unsuspecting girl, that has everything going for her finds true love and lives happily ever after with the dorky guy that is her best friend.  This NEVER happens.  This includes Pretty Woman, Never Been Kissed, Serendipity, Knocked Up (my life story except for the ending) and He’s Just Not That In To You.  Well, maybe you should watch that last one.  There is a lot of good information in that movie about recognizing when a guy is into you and when he’s not.  My favorite line from this movie and my dating motto is, “If a guy wants to be with you he will be”.  Words to live by.

1. NO matter what don’t ever under any circumstances cry on a first date and tell the guy, “You just don’t understand”.  If you are so emotionally vulnerable that there is even the slightest chance that you may cry to a guy that you just met, especially if the subject you are crying about is your ex and the situation between the two of you, STAY HOME and eat ice cream.  You won’t feel badly when the ice cream never calls you back!