The night before last I was awaken by Angel’s cry. These were not her normal whines coupled with “Mommy get out”, “Down”, or “Mommy bed” wanting me to come and get her and let her sleep with me. These cries were ones of distress. I was so tired and was finally able to fall asleep after my mind raced for what seemed like hours. Like most people when I lay my head down, no matter how tired I am, my mind begins to fill itself with to do list, the daily recap, things I should have said, prayer list, how cold will it be tonight, is the heat on, will Angel be warm enough, check her monitor, who’s birthday is coming up, what am I going to get Sarah for her baby shower, the list goes on and on. But at 1:45 in the morning when I heard this cry I tore the covers back and ran towards Angel’s room, crying out because I stepped on Mr. Potato Head’s arm. I didn’t have to reach Angel’s room before I knew what the problem was. She stood before me in the living room crying with her arms out stretched saying, “Mommy hold you”. I scooped her up and held her to me and told her it was ok Mommy was here. She had crawled out of her crib. I was wondering when this day would come. She had tried to climb in and out of her crib in my presence, but I told her she would fall out and hurt herself. Of course she understood that, right? I didn’t see any blood or scratches on her, so of course I carried her into my room and put her into my bed. She fell right back asleep. I, on the other hand, was trembling, my veins filled with adrenaline. I lay there shaking feeling like I was going to vomit. It scared me so badly. All of the what if’s filled my head and it was another hour before I fell back asleep. She woke me up in the morning with a big smile and a “Hi Mommy!” I made sure she didn’t have any bruises before I asked her how she got out of bed. I am still waiting on an answer.
Last night when I put her down I moved the crib away from her dresser and pulled the bassinet that holds her baby dolls and stuffed animals away from it also, in case either of these were aiding in her escape. I put pillows on the floor around the crib and made sure her monitor was where I could see and hear it. I lay down exhausted from lack of sleep from the night before and as usual the list began. Before I got to in depth with it I thought maybe I should put one more pillow on the floor. Today I called a friend of mine who is coming over to convert her crib into a toddler bed. The crib chapter closes and so begins a new one which I am certain will contain a little girl, beside my bed, staring me awake, wanting to get into bed with me. I see a worn pathway between my room and hers as she comes and I take her back. This should be very interesting!