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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone!  I can’t believe that it has been almost a month since my last post.  I will admit that I have been a bit uninspired but have still had plenty to write about.  It has been a crazy busy month for me.  Of course getting ready for the holidays, shopping, parties, etc. and my job has been keeping me very busy as well.  Did I mention that I had the flu?  Oh yeah got that while traveling to Phoenix.  NOT FUN!  I do not recommend getting sick in a hotel room.  $14.00 for a glass of orange juice and some really awful chicken soup.  All I wanted was my Mom and a sedative; instead the emergency room gave me some amoxicillin and a pain killer that is 1 degree over Tylenol.  Angel was at her Dad’s which gave me the opportunity to sleep for about 18 hours straight and recuperate before she got home.  I am better now, but that was awful!
I mentioned that I have been uninspired which is true.  I have heard people say that they don’t like the holidays because it makes them sad or they get depressed when Christmas rolls around and I never understood that.  How could anyone be upset during the most wonderful time of the year????  I never understood that until this year.  The holidays can be tough on many people, perhaps they lost a loved one during the year that won’t be there to celebrate with them, they are financially stressed and the thought of buying gifts is overwhelming, or they have no one to share the season with.  I was sad this year because I am still single (this may sound silly to some, but it has been difficult for me).  I try not to write about this part of my life too often, but this is on my heart.  It all started when I got out my Christmas decorations and found the extra stocking hangers that I had bought last year.  Last year after Christmas I went shopping to get some new Christmas decorations at 50% off and found stocking hangers which came in packs of 2.
I remember standing in the store looking at them and thinking in my head, should I buy 1 pack or 2?  Of course 1 pack would be sufficient for Angel and I, but what if I am married this time next year and need another 1 or 2?  So I bought 2 packs because I had an entire year to meet someone who would fall in love with me and Angel and we would all spend Christmas together.  That, obviously, did not happen. 
Yes I know that Christmas is not about me anymore, it is about Angel.  I did everything I could think of to make Christmas magical for her just as I will do every year, but I did spend Christmas Eve crying on the phone with a friend who told me over and over, “You don’t need a man!”  No I don’t need a man, but did you NEED any of the gifts you received this year? Probably not.  I want a man and not just a man, a man that will love me for me and love my sweet Angel.  Then yesterday after a full day of present opening, great food, spending time with my wonderful family it was time for me to take Angel to meet her Dad.  Along the way I saw 4 other families exchanging their children (I guess 3:00pm is the standard time), and I thought how unfortunate for all of these children to have to leave their gifts on Christmas day.  Please don’t get me wrong I am not judging and I am thankful that Angel’s Dad loves her and wants to be with her, but still wouldn't it be nice for us all to be together?  I know in many cases that is not possible, but I would do anything to make possible for us.  I cried the entire way home after dropping her off.  Not only was my house going to be completely empty, but Angel and her Dad had to drive through some awful weather to get to his house.  (In case you have been under a rock the Southeast where we live was hit by severe weather including tornadoes on Christmas Day.)  I watched the Weather Channel until I knew they were safe, hitting my knees praying nothing would happen to them, by God’s hands we are all safe and that is a Christmas blessing. 
I do hope that all of my readers had a wonderful holiday season.  I did, even though I didn't open the 2nd pack of stocking hangers.  I guess there is always next year.  

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