For all the single ladies that don’t have a partner this Valentine’s Day, who are tired of seeing those ridiculous commercials for $19.99 roses, the pajama gram, and the 4 foot teddy bear (what grown woman has a place to put a 4 foot teddy bear?!), stop watching The Notebook and put the ice cream down. It is time to put your big girl Spanx on, your Adele CD down, and empower yourself. Go get a massage, buy yourself some new shoes, or go to the gym and put songs like Stronger by Kelly Clarkson and Sara Evans on your iPod. So what you are single?
Dr. Laura S. Brown, professor of psychology at Argosy University/Seattle, offers tips on how single guys and gals can celebrate Cupid’s Day, instead of being defeated by it.
The following are more ways that single men and women can enjoy Valentine’s Day without worrying about the pressures and pitfalls that often come with the holiday:
1. Do not define yourself by your relationship status. Your relationship status is not your identity.
2. If you are single because of a recent loss, allow this to be a day of grieving. Do not pretend that it’s not a hard day. Get support and sympathy.
3. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
4. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of billing and cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
5. Get together with people who do love you -- friends, family members, the people who already have relationships with you.
6. If you are single and you don’t want to be, start now to think about what is in the way of you creating the relationship you want. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Begin to volunteer. Create art. Make meaning. Act to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.
7. If you are single and you like it, now is the time to affirm your choice. People who never marry or partner have close, loving, emotionally intimate relationships and lives worth living. Do not let a couple-driven culture define your choice as something wrong.
This is my personal favorite quote that comes from a dear friend of mine “Amy married women are just as miserable as single women. The only difference is we have to wash dirty underwear, talk about hunting, and lay in bed thinking of way to kill our husbands because they won’t stop snoring!”
I am actually looking forward to tomorrow night. No, I won’t be partaking in a romantic candle lit dinner, complete with roses, wine and chocolates in a heart shaped box. Since Angel is with her Dad, I will be going out and know I will have a blast, single and all!