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Monday, May 28, 2012

Golden Rule

Last week I attended a graduation ceremony and on my way to my seat I passed 4 people standing off to the side of everyone else.  There were two women facing another woman and a man.  The reason this group of people caught my attention was not because they were carrying a large bundle of balloons for their graduate, not because they were over joyed by this achievement in a young person’s life.  No, it was the fact that that the man yelled at one of the women his opposite that he was going to (insert obscenity here) hit her.  She yelled back no you’re (insert obscenity) not.  I just so happened to see a security guard and sent him their way.  I presume this was the baby daddy with his new wife or girlfriend yelling at the baby momma and her female friend.  I have thought about this situation since it happened retelling the story of how people have no class.  It has also made me think even deeper about relationships between ex’s and how they affect the children that came out of them.  Thank goodness the graduate was already in line waiting to walk across the stage and receive his or her diploma.  This is a very special occasion for not only the graduate but the family as well.  I am sure JR. would be very disappointed to hear that his dad didn’t get to see him graduate because he had been arrested for a domestic disturbance with his mother at his once and only high school graduation.  Seriously, can’t people grow up?  Not because it makes sense to have class and act like an adult, but think about what this type of behavior does to children involved.  

All of this makes me think about my own situation.  I don’t understand how and why people can be so malicious, mean, and downright cruel to someone they once cared for?  I am not suggesting that you and your ex be BFF’s and go on vacations with each other, but it would be nice if you and your ex could at least be cordial and friendly.  My mother constantly reminds me of the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.  I must admit this is sometime extremely difficult especially when you have tried and given and have gotten nothing but ignored.  As much as my feelings get hurt and as frustrated as I get, the thought of Angel being put in a situation between her father and I, encourages me to do the right thing; even if I get spit in the face.  7 X 70.  

So to people everywhere that have a Baby Momma or Baby Daddy even if you can’t stand the sight of this person, try for the sake of your children be pleasant to them.  After all without that person you wouldn’t have the blessing of your children. 

Saturday, May 19, 2012


I recently read an article in Parent’s magazine entitled Savor the Moments (March 2012) that stated that as a parent you have 940 Saturdays from the time a child is born and the time they go to college.  That may seem like a lot, but we all know it flies by.  For me and other parents that have to share their time with the other parent, divide that number in half which is only 470 then subtract another large number to account for Saturdays when they are at sleep overs, playing sports, and when they become a teenager and the only thing on Saturday’s that matters is their friends.  The bottom line is time is precious.  Some people don’t understand why when Angel is with me I don’t do anything else.  Spending time with her is the most important thing to me and it would be even if she was with me 24/7.  

Time for me is something I am always thinking about.  I feel like I have a giant clock in my head ticking as every second passes and I am constantly trying to figure ways to freeze time and hold onto moments.  Each day is a tick tock of schedules, appointments, to do list, go here and there, get this, meet this person, etc.  

Wake up                                                          tick
Get ready                                                        tock    
Drop Angel off                                                tick
Go to work                                                      tock
Appointments throughout the day            tick
Race to pick Angel up                                  tock
Drive home                                                     tick
Play with Angel                                              tock
Dinner                                                              tick
Bath time                                                        tock
Story time                                                       tick
Put Angel to bed                                            tock       

I feel guilty that I don’t have more time to spend with Angel.  Every second that I have with her I try to make count and put in good quality time with her.  My weekends when she is with me are all about what she wants to do.  Some people think that I overdo it a bit.  I have even been called a hoverer because I tend to hover around her when we are together not wanting her to be out of my sight.  I never know when a hug or kiss might come my way. 
It is for this reason that I will forgo eating breakfast so that I can help her put her puzzle together before I leave for work.  Every afternoon when we get home we both change into our play clothes and head outside.  We go for bicycle rides to the park; we stroll around the neighborhood, jump on the trampoline, play in the pool, or just hang out and read books.  She is 2 years old and I still rock her every night before she gets in her bed.  I will do this as long as I can. 
I write all of this not because I think I am parent of the year, but because I am preparing myself for another summer of her absence.  Yes it is that time again.  She left yesterday for 10 days and when she comes back I will have 2 weeks before she leaves for 2 months.  I hate it when she leaves. I sit at home alone looking at remnants of her, her books on the floor, her pacifier in my bed, and bath toys in the tub that she still drinks water in! It makes me so sad 10 days is hard enough and the thought of another 2 months is excruciating on me.
So spend time with your children, that clock is ticking and before you know it your 940 Saturday’s will be up. 

-Trace Adkins-

Friday, May 11, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!

As my 3rd Mother’s Day approaches I look around at all of the amazing women in my life, most of them are moms but a few are not…..yet. My own Mother continues to amaze me every day with her strength and faith. She has such an extraordinary bond and relationship with Angel, and helps me in more ways than I can say. It pleases me that Angel wants to go to Nana’s house and loves her. I am only slightly bothered when I drop her off in the morning and she glances up from eating her oatmeal to tell me bye.

My sister is sending her youngest daughter off to college this year and has done an excellent job of raising both of her girls. They are both talented, beautiful, and unique in their own way. She and her husband have done a great job of raising them. Each of my friends, that are moms, are remarkable in their own way. They are successful business owners, stay at home moms, working moms, incredible wives, friends, daughters, sisters, and of course mothers. The abilities that these women have, juggling all of their balls in the air in perfect harmony is mind boggling. I have 2 friends who became new mommies this year, and I would like to welcome both of them to the best club in the world. I hope that your first Mother’s Day is memorable. Rejoice in your babies and be thankful that God chose you to be their mother. Our journey has its ups and down and can be difficult at times (especially when you are not getting any sleep), but it is worth every second. 
This includes step mothers that are in blended families.  These women love and accept other children as their own.  If I ever am ever a step mother I hope I embrace this role as well as the women I know, and when Angel gets a step mother I hope she will love her and treat her as her own.

Since Angel isn’t old enough to shop for me, my Mother’s Day gifts are gifts of patience, understanding, and the unconditional love only a mother can know for her child. These are gifts that cannot bought in a store and are usually not learned until you have a child.

To all of my fellow mothers I would like to wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day. May this day be filled with hugs and kisses, macaroni necklaces, handmade cards, and homemade cookies. This is a day to celebrate us, in all that we do and all we put up with, because we deserve it and it’s all worth it!

Randy Travis "Angels"