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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Summer Preparation

I can’t believe that we are almost through May!!!!  Where has the year gone?  If you have been following me for a while you know what this means, the summer is quickly approaching.  This may seem normal for most people, after all summer does come after spring, but for me it means I have to give up my precious Angel to her Dad for the summer.  The court ruled that Angel go to her Dad’s the 2nd Friday of June and stay until the last day of July……with no visitation with me during that time.  The past 2 summers for me have been very difficult, the first one being the worst (she was only 14 months old when she left and I didn’t get to see her for 2 months!!!! See Post)  Last year was some better, she was older and could talk to me a little on the phone, it was still very hard.  I have been telling myself this year won’t be nearly as bad, she is not leaving until June 15th and hopefully her Dad will bring her back the last weekend in July instead of the 31st which makes it roughly 6 weeks instead of 8.  In that time I am going on a trip, that is 1 week, I have a meeting, that is 2 weeks and I have plenty of things to do around my house all that should total about 4 weeks.  So it will be like she is only gone for 2 weeks…Right???  I have been telling my friends, awe it’s not going to be that bad.  Besides I could use a brake, catch up on some sleep, have dinner with friends, clean out cabinets, um twiddle my thumbs!!!!  I have been telling myself “it won’t be that bad” since January and really thought I would be ok until today.  Angel left today to go to her Dad’s for his typical visitation.  The only difference is she left 2 days early and will be gone 12 days instead of 10.  She left this afternoon before I got off of work so I gave her my goodbyes this morning.
I didn’t think much of her leaving today, after all this is the norm for us, but it hit me yesterday that this was her last month before she leaves for the summer.  Yesterday instead of going to the gym I took her to the park where we played for 2 hours.  Last night when she put up the usual fuss to not sleep in her bed because it is “broken” and sleep with me in “Mommy’s big bed” I agreed.  I held it together this morning, when she cried and told me “don’t leave me here!!” like my Mom’s house is some horrid place.  After I got her calmed down and got my last kiss from her, I got in my car and left for work.   As I backed out of the driveway I she ran into the back yard and smiled at me.
There she was waving and dancing for me.  She was barefoot wearing a pink dress with cupcakes for pockets.  As the sun was coming up behind her and back-lit her hair like a halo, and I swear for a moment I saw wings on her back, her own set of Angel wings.  I closed my eyes and let that vision sink into my memory and prayed that I would never forget it.    

This is still one of my favorite pictures.

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