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Sunday, June 23, 2013

Objects

It is amazing how an object can hold so much.  While cleaning out my bathroom closet this morning I came across an old jewelry case sitting on the floor covered in dust.  It has been years since I have looked at its content, so being in the purging mood that I was in, I decided to go through it and get rid of contents that I won’t ever ware.  In it I found an emerald ring set in a fat gold band, a broken tiny watch from the 1940’s, silver initial jewelry, 2 silver band bracelets with my initials on them, a bevel stop pearl necklace and the last box I opened contained a thin silver man’s ring with a name engraved on the inside.  It is amazing that an object so small, so insignificant, so forgotten can bring up so many memories.  I sat on the floor with that ring in my hand, my stomach turned and for a moment I felt sick like I used to feel after I found out what the ring symbolized.  I turned it over in my fingers feeling its light weightiness and even put it on my own finger, a small part of me wishing it was actually for me, but then thanking God that it wasn’t.  I looked around at the other objects some of them made me smile when I thought about what they represented and the memories attached to them. 
The emerald ring was a gift from my high school boyfriend.  I think he gave it to me for Christmas my senior year in high school.  It is a cheap ring and I would never wear it now, but he knew that emeralds were my favorite and probably spent all he had to get it for me.  So I put it back in the box smiling at the thought of him and all the memories we shared. The broken tiny watch belonged to my grandmother who died when I was 16.  I don’t know how I came to be the holder of this watch but I hold on to it as a small piece of her.  I tried to get it fixed once and the jeweler said it wasn’t worth fixing, maybe not to him.  So I put it back in the bag it came out of.  The mismatched silver initial jewelry was a hot trend in the mid 90’s when I was in high school.  All the girls at school would wear this somewhat gaudy jewelry.  It was like we were branding ourselves by putting our initials on it.  The bracelets matched the other jewelry and the reason I have 2 identical bracelets is because they were graduation gifts.  One of them, not sure which one, was a gift from one of my very best friends at the time.  We were inseparable and had matching bracelets like the wonder twins.  I haven’t spoken to her in almost 15 years.  The bevel stop pearl necklace I wore on my wedding day.  Yes, I suckered someone into marrying me.  I think about that day and how happy I was.  It was the perfect day complete with a horse drawn carriage.  Many mistakes were made, mostly out of immaturity and selfishness and the marriage did not last.  I think about all of the what if’s and put the necklace back in its velvet case.  Finally back to the ring what to do with it?  Should I give it back to its original owner?  It was given to me as a promise a symbol to build trust.  So I put it back in the box, in the jewelry case and will put it back in the bottom of the closet and forget about it for another few years just like I will do with the memories.  

It has been 10 days since Angel has been gone I have heard her twice for a total of less than 5 minutes.  I guess I am just sappy and sad today.  Tomorrow is a new day with new memories to be made.   

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