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Wednesday, November 13, 2013


I feel like a barren woman
In a room full
Full of pregnant women
Their bellies bloated
Their breasts full
Their hands resting atop swollen tummies
Dressed in maternity clothing
I will never get to wear

They sit around jabbering
About having a baby
They jabber about
The baby's name
The baby's room decor
The babies they've had before
Some even say they don't want the baby
They talk and talk
My baby this
My baby that

And I sit there smiling and nodding
Smiling and laughing
I am supposed to feel happy for them
They ask me questions
And I lie
About why
I don't have a baby
I sit screaming inside my head

Why them and not I?
What do they have
That I do not?
God help me!
Help me understand!

I crave the smell of a baby in my nose
To hold one so close
To love one
To have him love me back
To spend the rest of my life with him
But it is not a baby blanket I imagine in my hands

It is a bouquet.


Chemo Mom Tammy said...

sadly excellent :(

Anonymous said...

Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people.

STUART said...


Stuart said...