I woke up this morning and it was like looking through fog. My eyes were swollen and sore. Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life. It was extremely emotional, difficult and awkward. I won’t get into too much. If anyone has ever lost someone or been to a funeral they know what it is like. I think the hardest thing was, not saying goodbye to a man that acted as a Dad to me the majority of my life, but watching my mother weep over the loss of him and literally holding her up at his casket. Her sobs made my heart break even more. My nice had made some picture boards for our family, since the slide show and the other pictures were of “another family”. In an effort to lift everyone’s spirit I began telling stories of better times. “Remember when we were all at the beach and the sea gull pooped on Dad’s head and Mom was laughing so hard she almost wet her pants.” Stuff like that, anything to make my Mom smile even for a moment. Last night after all was said and done my family went back to my Mom’s, the place where so many memories were made. We reminisced by watching home movies, some were almost 25 years old! It was surreal to look at the faces on the television and see the same faces surrounding me, minus one. We have all changed in appearance and maturity, but we have remained a family through much disagreement, hurt, joy, milestones, growth and mostly love. Isn’t that the definition of family? Not just mother, father, sister, brother but people that see you through life.
In times of difficulty it is amazing how many people can be there to support you. I was in awe of how many people came out to support my family. Old friends that had shared memories with my Dad came to offer their condolences and many friends that couldn’t be there in person showed their support with flowers, food, cards and prayers. A friend I have known since elementary school who I don’t recall ever meeting my Dad, drove to the funeral home during her lunch break to give me a hug and tell me she was there for me. WOW! I didn’t know people still did that? I think the one of the most positive things to come out of yesterday is a certain someone who held me as I wept on his shoulder and made me laugh through my tears. I guess I am just not used to having people be there for me and I will admit it was nice.
So yesterday is over and that chapter is closed. Hopefully, all of my anger towards the situation was also buried yesterday and I can look towards the future. It looks pretty bright from here.