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Thursday, July 30, 2015

Unanswered Prayers

You know how a song can get stuck in your head; you hear it on the radio or a t.v. commercial and end up singing it all day.  Even when you fall asleep at night that song is playing in your head. Like it or not it won’t stop playing and then one day it does and you forget about it……..until you hear it again.  Lately, I have had a song stuck in my head but it isn’t an obnoxious repetitive jingle that has been playing over and over in my mind and it isn’t playing all the time.  It all started a few weeks ago, Michael and I were just talking, he was delightfully charming and trying to make me laugh and under my breath I said “Thank you God for him”.  I have thanked God for him many, many times for him before, but it was in this moment I heard Garth Brooks sing, “Sometimes I thank God for Unanswered Prayers, Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs”…….. and it hit me.  I flashed back to all the times I cried, begged, pleaded and prayed to God for someone else to love me.  I would make deals in my prayers, if you will just allow us to be together I will do this…. I even started a prayer jar where I would write his name on a piece of paper and toss the paper in the jar like a child throwing a coin into a wishing well closing my eyes tightly and whispering “please”.  I couldn’t understand why, why God did not answer my prayers.  Didn’t God want families to be together?  This went on for a few years and finally I realized that what I wanted and was praying for was not what God had planned for me. 

Now I pray and thank God for knowing best and not giving me what I so desperately prayed.  Michael is everything I should have been praying for.  He is kind, funny, humble, a good friend, a great father and he loves me for me.  Before I met him I remember people telling me God has a plan, be patient, there is someone out there for me.  Things that when I heard that I would smile but would secretly be thinking please stop talking because I had heard it all before and I thought God was ignoring me.  So if there is something you so desperately want, a relationship or something else just remember,
“That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care, Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”

Friday, July 24, 2015

End of Summer

It may be over 100 degrees outside (it is where I live), but summer is almost over.  As usual Angel went to her dad’s and she will be home next Friday, YAY! 
I have kept myself busy as always.  I got to spend 2 unbelievable weeks in Ireland and Scotland.  I have to admit next to Italy, Ireland is one of my favorite countries.  It was incredibly beautiful, fields of green pastures, dark blue waters, castles every 10 kilometers, the people were very friendly and it offered a lot of history.  I got the honor of driving everywhere because I was the only one who knows how to drive a standard.  This was my first time driving on the right side of the road, which everyone knows is the wrong side of the road.  So not only did I have to drive on the wrong side, I had to shift with my left hand.  Add narrow streets, hills, tour buses that come right at you, bicyclist, no air conditioner, cow manure and you have a recipe for disaster. 

 I mention the no A/C and cow manure because the beautiful green fields hold many cows and sheep (some of which were enormous) and all these animals do is eat the grass and poop.  Fields were everywhere and based on the smell so was the poop.  Although it was cool enough and we didn‘t really need A/C, the windows had to be rolled up on many occasion due to the heavy odor in the air.  One day while driving with the windows down enjoying the countryside and the cool morning air, we hit a wall of stench and could not get the windows up fast enough.  My friend Charlotte started coughing and yelled out, “My mouth was open and I can taste it”! That became a running joke throughout the trip.  Other than the smell the trip was AMAZING and I can’t wait to go back.  
Michael and I got to spend 4th of July in the Big Apple, which was also wonderful.  We travel really well together, which is a good thing considering how much I love to travel.  The weather was perfect and we pretty much did nothing but eat.  On the 4th we went to the Ground Zero memorial and got to see the One World Trade Center. It was very moving.  Michael and I both shed a few tears. 

After Angel returns home things will get crazy.  She will be starting kindergarten.  KINDERGARTEN!!!!!  I will become a Mom Taxi running her to school, gymnastics, music and other extracurricular activities.  I am already a bit overwhelmed but excited with school shopping, getting uniforms, supplies, etc.  It is bitter sweet that my baby is starting school.  This will be a new chapter in both of our lives and I can’t wait to write it.