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Thursday, July 30, 2015

Unanswered Prayers

You know how a song can get stuck in your head; you hear it on the radio or a t.v. commercial and end up singing it all day.  Even when you fall asleep at night that song is playing in your head. Like it or not it won’t stop playing and then one day it does and you forget about it……..until you hear it again.  Lately, I have had a song stuck in my head but it isn’t an obnoxious repetitive jingle that has been playing over and over in my mind and it isn’t playing all the time.  It all started a few weeks ago, Michael and I were just talking, he was delightfully charming and trying to make me laugh and under my breath I said “Thank you God for him”.  I have thanked God for him many, many times for him before, but it was in this moment I heard Garth Brooks sing, “Sometimes I thank God for Unanswered Prayers, Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs”…….. and it hit me.  I flashed back to all the times I cried, begged, pleaded and prayed to God for someone else to love me.  I would make deals in my prayers, if you will just allow us to be together I will do this…. I even started a prayer jar where I would write his name on a piece of paper and toss the paper in the jar like a child throwing a coin into a wishing well closing my eyes tightly and whispering “please”.  I couldn’t understand why, why God did not answer my prayers.  Didn’t God want families to be together?  This went on for a few years and finally I realized that what I wanted and was praying for was not what God had planned for me. 

Now I pray and thank God for knowing best and not giving me what I so desperately prayed.  Michael is everything I should have been praying for.  He is kind, funny, humble, a good friend, a great father and he loves me for me.  Before I met him I remember people telling me God has a plan, be patient, there is someone out there for me.  Things that when I heard that I would smile but would secretly be thinking please stop talking because I had heard it all before and I thought God was ignoring me.  So if there is something you so desperately want, a relationship or something else just remember,
“That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care, Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”

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