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Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Queen Bees



I have mentioned before that I have a lot of kids that live on the cul de sac where Angel and I live.  It seems like this number is constantly growing, just last week I looked in the back yard and there was a boy I had never seen before.  He had red hair and freckles I am guessing he is about 8.  I asked who he was and he said “Owen” then I asked do your parents know where you are and he said “yes mam” like a nice southern boy. The kids range in age from 4 to 10 and are mostly girls.  Lately, I have heard bickering and name calling among them, mostly at Angel.  She is 5 and has not yet gotten caught up in the name calling and she knows I do not allow it.  This is mostly done among the older girls.  It is interesting how they work, the girls that is, the 10 year old, who is the oldest of them all, told me the other day that 2 of the other girls called Angel a brat.  I try not to get into this as I know all too soon Angel will have to learn how to deal with this herself, but when one of the girls came over to play I asked her if she did in fact call Angel a brat and of course she said, “no” and then said it was the girl who told me about this in the first place.  Ugh.
I thought about a book that I bought for my sister when my nieces were in school “Queen Bees and Wannabes” and thought I should give her a call to ask if I can borrow it.  This is the book the movie “Mean Girls” was based on.  Why are girls so mean to each other? I guess I need to read the book.  This got me thinking about girls and the way they treat other and then women and the way they treat each other.  You would thing that females would eventually grow out of this, but I can say from personal experience that they don’t.  Women that have strong personalities t are labeled a bitch, a control freak, moody or hard to deal with.  I have lost friendships, had people gossip about me, make cryptic jabs at me on FaceBook (UGHHHHH FaceBook! That is a whole other post) and judge me. After all we as women have fought for why do we do things to undermine and cut each other down? This really bothered me until recently; I realized that I don’t care what people think or say about me.  I know who I am.  I am an awesome mother, daughter, friend and soon to be wife.  I am confident about things that I do and the person that I am.  I know that the people that are in my life are the people that love me for me and are not just a “friend” on FaceBook.  I want to set an example to my daughter that when people talk about her or call her names, which they will, to turn the other cheek and to be assured in who she is .
The good news about Angel and her friends is that these kids may call each other names one day but the next day they are having a tea party.  I hope it stays this way for a long time but just in case I am going to get that book.